deze MOEST ik posten ... erg leuk ...

Kan niet wachten tot zondag, al heb ik er liever Weihenstephaner of een Grolschje bij......... (Alhoewel zonder zou ik mij ook zeker vermaken :wink:

)

Hallo baas.
Ja de paaltjes zijn geplaatst maar nu zitten we met een probleempje

Niet gedronken en toch mijn rijbewijs kwijt

Gisteravond reed ik nietsvermoedend naar huis toen ik werd aangehouden door de politie.
De dienstdoende agent sommeerde mij de auto uit te komen omdat hij vermoedde dat ik in kennelijke staat was.
Ik verzekerde hem dat ik niets gedronken had, maar ik kon hem blijkbaar niet overtuigen.

Hij zou me wel even een test afnemen:
"U rijdt in het donker en er komen u twee lichten tegemoet. Wat denkt u dat dit is?"
"Een auto," zei ik, verbaasd over deze onnozele vraag.
"Jaja, allicht, maar wat voor een, een Renault, een Peugeot of een Citroen?" vroeg hij.
"Geen idee," was mijn antwoord.
"Zie je wel, straalbezopen!" constateerde hij.
Ik verzekerde hem dat ik echt niets gedronken had.

"Nou vooruit, nog een testje,", zei hij:
"U rijdt in het donker en er komt u een licht tegemoet.
"Wat is dit, denkt u?"
"Een motor," was mijn antwoord.
"Jaja, een motor, logisch, maar wat voor een, een Kawasaki, een Honda of een Yamaha?" wilde hij weten.
Wederom moest ik het antwoord schuldig blijven.
"Toch behoorlijk in de olie, dus," was zijn conclusie.

Ik was onderhand behoorlijk pissig over dit onnozele gedoe en besloot in de tegenaanval te gaan.
"Een wedervraag," zei ik, "er staat een vrouw op de stoeprand, hoge hakken, hevig opgemaakt, netkousen, minirok en een decolleté tot bijna op de navel. Wat is dit volgens jou?"
"Een straathoertje," zei hij onmiddellijk.
"Jaja," antwoordde ik, "dat is zo helder als wat, maar wat voor een, je dochter, je vrouw of je moeder?"

En nou ben ik mijn rijbewijs toch kwijt en geen druppel alcohol gehad.

Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighboring kingdom. The monarch could have killed him, but was moved by Arthur's youthful happiness.
So he offered him freedom, as long as he could answer a very difficult question.
Arthur would have a year to figure out the answer; if, after a year, he still had no answer, he would be killed.
The question was: What do women really want? Such a question would perplex even the most knowledgeable man, and, to young Arthur, it seemed an impossible query. Well, since it was better than death, he accepted the monarch's proposition to have an answer by year's end.

He returned to his kingdom and began to poll everybody: the princess, prostitutes, priests, wise men, the court jester. In all, he spoke with everyone but no one could give him a satisfactory answer. What most people told him was to consult the old witch, as only she would know the answer. The price would be high, since the witch was famous throughout the kingdom for the exorbitant prices she charged. The last day of the year arrived and Arthur had no alternative but to talk to the witch. She agreed to answer his question, but he'd have to accept her price first: The old witch wanted to marry Gawain, the most noble of the Knights of the Round Table and Arthur's closest friend! Young Arthur was horrified: she was hunchbacked and hideous, had only one tooth, smelled like sewage water, often made obscene noises... He had never run across such a repugnant creature. He refused to force his friend to marry her and have to endure such a burden.
Gawain, upon learning of the proposal, spoke with Arthur. He told him that nothing was too big of a sacrifice compared to Arthur's life and the preservation of the Round Table. Hence, their wedding was proclaimed, and the witch answered Arthur's question: What a woman really wants is to be able to be in charge of her own life. Everyone instantly knew that the witch had uttered a great truth and that Arthur's life would be spared. And so it went. The neighboring monarch spared Arthur's life and granted him total freedom.

What a wedding Gawain and the witch had! Arthur was torn between relief and anguish. Gawain was proper as always, gentle and courteous. The old witch put her worst manners on display. She ate with her hands, belched and farted, and made everyone uncomfortable. The wedding night approached: Gawain, steeling himself for a horrific night, entered the bedroom. What a sight awaited! The most beautiful woman he'd ever seen lay before him! Gawain was astounded and asked what had happened. The beauty replied that since he had been so kind to her (when she'd been a witch), half the time she would be her horrible, deformed self, and the other half, she would be a beautiful maiden. Which would he want her to be during the day and which during the night? What a cruel question? Gawain began to think of his predicament: During the day a beautiful woman to show off to his friend, but at night, in the privacy of his home, an old spooky witch? Or would he prefer having by day a hideous witch, but by night a beautiful woman to enjoy many intimate moments? What would you do? What Gawain chose follows below, but don't read until you've made your own choice.
Noble Gawain replied that he would let her choose for herself. Upon hearing this, she announced that she would be beautiful all the time, because he had respected her and had let her be in charge of her own life.

What is the moral of this story?
The moral is that it doesn’t matter if your woman is pretty or ugly, underneath it all, she is still a witch.