deze MOEST ik posten ... erg leuk ... Deel 2

[ironpatje]

[ironpatje]

Komt een vrouw bij de dokter en zegt:
"Dokter ik had graag dat u
me van onderen eens goed onderzoekt.
Ik ga namelijk morgen voor de
vierde keer trouwen
en wil dat alles in orde is."
"Ga daar maar liggen dan onderzoek
ik u even." Zegt de dokter.
Na even gekeken te hebben
zegt de dokter:

"Weet u wel zeker dat u voor de vierde keer gaat
trouwen???
U bent namelijk nog maagd."

"Nou." zegt de vrouw, "Dat kan ik uitleggen.
Mijn eerste man was een gynaecoloog,
die kijkt er alleen maar naar.
Mijn tweede man was een psycholoog, die praatte er
alleen maar over. Daarna ben ik met een aannemer
getrouwd en deze zei altijd: "We beginnen volgende
week."

“Maar nu ga ik met een
Belastinginspecteur
trouwen en nu weet ik zeker dat ik
genaaid word'‘

[marceld]

ha ha die moet ik onthouden

[ironpatje]

onverslaagbaar, die italianen......

Fabrizio:

Rossi:

Biaggi:

Schettino:

[dobbelsteen]

Hahhahaha, hilarisch

[Tilt!]

[$TEEF]

[ruud janssen]

http://www.zeelandnet.nl/video/bekijk/v ... SPAAL.html

[ironpatje]

dochter een lesje leren...

http://www.break.com/index/father-teach ... ok-2298729

liefde voor de fiets deze man gaat wel heeeel ver

http://youtu.be/topnqOz0L4Y

[horn]

[BOXTUR]

LOL

[horn]

[mbembe]

[steef]

Ga nog even door Horn....

[horn]

valentijnsgrapje voor Audi rijders - leuk voor thuis

[Ivo 3.6]

@Horn, vond je eerste post JA/NEE duidelijker

[ironpatje]

tof krantje......

http://de.rechtzetting.be/2012/02/16/va ... jden/#read

[bully]

klikkerdeklik

[Ferdi's Porsche]

Einstein is op een feestje, komt er iemand naar hem toe.
Einstein vraagt: Wat is jouw IQ? 250, zegt die persoon.
Dus begint Einstein te praten over kwantische natuurkunde, blackholes, singulariteit en ruimtetijd...

Na een tijdje komt er een ander naar hem toe
Einstein vraagt hem ook: Wat is jouw IQ? 150, zegt de persoon.
Dus begint Einstein te praten over Internationaal recht, ethische conflicten met genetische manipulatie...

Iets later komt er weer iemand naar hem toe.
Einstein vraagt: Wat is jouw IQ? 100, antwoordt de persoon.
Dus begint Einstein te praten over de regering, de loonmatigingen, en benzine prijzen...

Nog iets later komt er weer iemand naar hem toe.
Einstein vraagt: Wat is jouw IQ ? 50, antwoordt de persoon.
Dus begint Einstein te praten over Idols, Big-Brother, Starmaker, Jouw vrouw, mijn vrouw...

Komt er daarna nog iemand naar hem toe.
Einstein vraagt: Wat is jouw IQ ? 10, antwoordt de persoon.
Daarop vraagt Einstein hem:
En Guidetti?
Nog een beetje naar je zin bij FEYENOORD

[Subdriver]

[Maarten]

Teaching maths in 1970

1. A logger sells a truckload of timber for £100.
His cost of production is 4/5 of the price.
What is his profit?

2. Teaching Maths In 1980
A logger sells a truckload of timber for £100.
His cost of production is 80% of the price.
What is his profit?

3. Teaching Maths In 1990
A logger sells a truckload of timber for £100.
His cost of production is £ 80.
How much was his profit?

4. Teaching Maths In 2000
A logger sells a truckload of timber for £100.
His cost of production is £80 and his profit is £20.
Your assignment: Underline the number 20.

5. Teaching Maths In 2005
A logger cuts down a beautiful forest because he is selfish and
inconsiderate and cares nothing for the habitat of animals or the
preservation of our woodlands. Your assignment: Discuss how the birds and
squirrels might feel as the logger cut down their homes just for a measly
profit of £20.

6. Teaching Maths In 2009
A logger is arrested for trying to cut down a tree in case it may be
offensive to Muslims or other religious groups not consulted in the felling
licence. He is also fined a £100 as his chainsaw is in breach of Health and
Safety legislation as it deemed too dangerous and could cut something. He
has used the chainsaw for over 20 years without incident however he does not
have the correct certificate of competence and is therefore considered to be
a recidivist and habitual criminal. His DNA is sampled and his details
circulated throughout all government agencies. He protests and is taken to
court and fined another £100 because he is such an easy target. When he is
released he returns t o find Gypsies have cut down half his wood to build a
camp on his land. He tries to throw them off but is arrested, prosecuted for
harassing an ethnic minority, imprisoned and fined a further £100. While he
is in jail the Gypsies cut down the rest of his wood and sell it on the
black market for £100 cash. They also have a leaving BBQ of squirrel and
pheasant and depart leaving behind several tonnes of rubbish and asbestos
sheeting. The forester on release is warned that failure to clear the fly
tipped rubbish immediately at his own cost is an offence. He complains and
is arrested for environmental pollution, breach of the peace and invoiced
£12,000 plus VAT for safe disposal costs by a regulated government
contractor.

Your assignment: How many times is the logger going to have to be arrested
and fined before he realises that he is never going to make £20 profit by
hard work, give up, sign onto the dole and live off the state for the rest
of his life?

7. Teaching Maths In 2010
A logger doesn’t sell a lorry load of timber because he can’t get a loan to
buy a new lorry because his bank has spent all his and their money on a
derivative of securitised debt related to sub- prime mortgages in Alabama
and lost the lot with only some government money left to pay a few million
pound bonuses to their senior directors and the traders who made the biggest
loss es.
The logger struggles to pay the £1,200 road tax on his old lorry however, as
it was built in the 1970s it no longer meets the emissions regulations and
he is forced to scrap it.
Some Bulgarian loggers buy the lorry from the scrap merchant and put it back
on the road. They undercut everyone on price for haulage and send their cash
back home, while claiming unemployment for themselves and their relatives.
If questioned they speak no English and it is easier to deport them at the
governments expense. Following their holiday back home they return to the UK
with different names and fresh girls and start again. The logger protests,
is accused of being a bigoted racist and as his name is on the side of his
old lorry he is forced to pay £1,500 registration fees as a gang master.

The Government borrows more money to pay more to the bankers as bonus's are
not cheap. The parliamentarians feel they are missing out and claim the
difference on expenses and allowances.
You do the maths.

8. Teaching Maths 2017
أ المسجل تبيع حموله شاحنة من الخشب من اجل 100 دولار. صاحب تكلفة الانت=D 8ج
من
الثمن. ما هو الربح ل ه؟

[thedutchguy]

(allah akbar)

[John]

BUNDY AL ASSAD


Thuis niets te vertellen

[horn]

[ironpatje]

als je vrouw of vriendin zwanger is,
dan wrijven al haar vriendinnen over haar buik,
en zeggen ze: "gefeliciteerd!!!!"
maar geen een van die vriendinnen wrijft over je l*l en zegt: "goed gedaan!!!!"