deze MOEST ik posten ... erg leuk ... Deel 2

[WillemB]

Even de neus poederen

[Wimpie77]

http://www.geenstijl.nl/mt/archieven/2010/04/gevonden_met_google_geheime_au.html?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+geenstijl%2FJxBx+%28GeenStijl%29&utm_content=Google+International

Rara wat zou het zijn?

[mark996]

dubieus... (kan trouwens niet echt ontdekken wat voor modellen het zouden moeten zijn..)

[Henk965]

Tot wat 'Beroepsmisvorming' leiden kan!!



In een ziekenhuis nemen drie dokters afscheid van een verpleegster.



Oogchirurg: "We zien elkaar nog wel eens."



Oorchirurg: "We horen nog van elkaar."



Gynaecoloog: "Ik wip nog wel eens binnen!"

[bully]

hoe krom...

[Wimpie77]

Dat ze zo iemand laten gaan... Te triest voor woorden!!!

In het begin vraagt oom agent:"Mag ik je rijbewijs?"
Zegt prutser:"Heb ik niet..."

Einde filmpje rijdt hij gewoon weg...

[PaulW]

Dit laatste filmpje is echt erg zeg... Volgende keer zeg ik ook maar eens bij de vraag naar mijn rijbewijs.. "heb ik niet"... Kijken of ze wel goed kunnen luisteren die agenten...

[Erick]

Te bizar voor woorden.
vast zetten zulke KLOOTZ@KKEN !!!!!

[Jurgen]

Tenenkrommend.

[Maarten]

These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.


ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?

WITNESS: He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!

____________________________________________

ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
____________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
____________________________________________

ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes . ;
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget.
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
___________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo?
WITNESS: We both do.
ATTORNEY: Voodoo?
WITNESS: We do.
ATTORNEY: You do?
WITNESS: Yes, voodoo.
____________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
____________________________________

ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: He's twenty, much like your IQ.
____________________________ ______ _________

ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are you ****ting me?
_________________________________________

ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Getting laid
____________________________________________

ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Your Honour, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
___________________________________ ______ ___

ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Take a guess.
____________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Unless the circus was in town, I'm going with male.
_____ ________________________________

ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
______________________________________

ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.
________________________________________

ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral.
_________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WIT NESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.
____________________________________________



ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question?
______________________________________

And the best for last:

ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

[Wimpie77]

Hilarisch!!! Echt in een deuk gelegen van het lachen!

Moest wel elke keer aan Devils Son denken...

[Jurgen]

Bij Devil's son had 't verhaal nog véél langer geduurd...

[ralf996]

http://www.dumpert.nl/mediabase/947101/ ... iller.html

wat een CRAP

[IPF]

Brilliant spoof! On topic: Boxster @ 01:28

[Rodger that!]

Disco hond

[ironpatje]

nieuwe zomerhit in belgië,

Dos serveza's por Favor, elke spanjaard heeft een snor....

http://www.youtube.com/watch#!v=Y5NOw2l-zVo

[JMS]

A priest in a small Irish village had a rooster and ten hens






he kept them in the hen house behind the church.





One Sunday morning, before mass, he
went to feed the birds and discovered
that the cock was missing.



He knew about cock fights in
the village, so he questioned
his parishioners in church.

During mass, he asked the congregation,

'Has anybody got a cock? '




All the men stood up.



'No, no, ' he said, 'that wasn't what I meant.
Has anybody seen a cock? '




All the women stood up.


'No, no, ' he said, ' that wasn't what I meant.
Has anybody seen a cock that
doesn't belong to them? '



Half the women stood up.

'No, no, ' he said, 'that wasn't what I meant.
Has anybody seen MY cock? '
Sixteen altar boys, two priests
and a goat stood up.

The priest fainted.


.

[drknauf]

[Harley]

LOL - dat die Fiat die Murcielago los rijdt.

[Pepijn]

Ik denk dat ie um sleept.

[Marco]

forummer primetime op tv in het vk

[Ronaldo]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5KWTAq3GkfA

En voor de mensen die partij-voor-de-dieren-achtige opmerkingen
gaan maken, don't shoot me, I'm just the messenger...

[Wimpie77]

Balkenende zou zeggen: "wat kijkt het poesje lief"

[bully]

nieuw talent

da doe zier an oe oren.